Trigger Happy. Recovering Rover.My name is Nica and I'm an emotion extremist. English

I’ve totally relapsed.
This is no longer a recovery Instagram because I’m no longer recovery. I’m simply existing - whether that’s through the daily rituals of binging or restricting. 
Nothing glamorous about it.
My body can’t even digest food right now. I’m either so swollen or can’t stop using the loo.

I want to be all dramatic and say no one cares anyway - but that’s unreasonable, or is it?
#relapse #fuckoffanorexia
Is 1g protein per lb enough to build muscle? Or should I be aiming for 1.5-2g

They say 1.25-1.5 , I went with around that amount and for a while I went higher!

you're making so much progress, even if it's hard to see sometimes! every day you're becoming stronger and stronger, and I am so proud of you. take care dear x

Not sure about that, gym membership has still my been created, lard arseeeeeee!

how is the uni going?

Busy beyond belief, so much work so little spare time!

What degree are you studying?

I’m studying fashion design!

Breakfast time all the time.

Pimped my porridge and I’m actually enjoying it.

I’ll yet again, fighting a losing battle!!!!

#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #breakfast #oats #intake #healthyliving #healthyeating
If it fits the butt it clearly don’t for the waist.

Small waist issues since 2007…
How do you like your abs in the morning?

I haven’t gone to the gym in over a month now…but that doesn’t mean I’ve turned into a walrus…I’ve lost weight, or muscle, I don’t know which, in my legs but my stomach is firmly holding onto it’s muscular form…let’s see how long that lasts I guess.
I’m eating pretty clean, apart from consuming 6 Krispy kremes on Wednesday but let’s not talk about that.
Breakfast is the same everyday, lunch seems to span from a few options and dinner is w.e I find on the back on my cupboard…it’s all looking pretty bare however, I really do need to go shopping.

Had a really negative and destructive night last night, I wish the people I lived with knew how I felt as I’m starting to resent the , but at the same time, their lack of interfering just makes it easier for me to deal with by myself.

I hate being getting involved and I like to do everything by myself. 

#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #abs #edproblems
That’s my middle finger and that’s pretty much how I feel right now.
I’m having a tough time with almost everything at the moment.
Living on such a right budget means food that’s needed can’t be bought.
I’m working as many hours I can manage given that I’m studying a full time degree.
I’m having a really hard time adapting to living with people who I don’t know that well. Trust is lacking and my mood is just awful that I don’t want to talk to anyone.

A big change is always going to be hard to deal with, and the fact my whole life has changed means I’m going to have a few teething problems. It’s just issue after issue at the moment, and I’m totally taking that out on my intake.
Stress gets to be in ways I really just don’t want it to. But I’m not about to change it because I know that at some point in my life I’m going to have to deal with the fact that things change and I can’t always be in control of everything.

#edproblems #anorexia #eatingdisorder #recovery
Nothing in my life is fitness right now.
Because 1. I don’t have time and 2. I don’t have money.

I’m planning on taking up running as it’s free…

Until then no posts on here really and my personal account is @knicaas so feel free to follow that on more ‘personal’ (very impersonal, no babbling, just day to day shots) if you want to keep semi upto date with me…
I died my hair ginger, because I’m cool like that, you know…
I’m leaving today for London, excited and scared!!!! And fucking broke.
My personal account is @knicaas if any of you want to follow, I haven’t posted yet, but I will soon!!!

Went over to my friends this morning to say goodbye - I was fed a cheese toastie for breakfast, then half a lardy cake, SOOOO GOOOOD! And half a chocolate eclair!
I also tried Thai coffee, pretty good shit right there, yumm!
Do you or have you ever tracked macros? And what is you macro ratio now?

Yes I have, currently I do not for various reasons. Because of that, I currently have no ratio

Would you consider making a video??

Of what?

Just cause I loved this outfit.

I have a bed to sleep in in London, happy girly. 
I will probably not be posting on here too much until I am settled, found a gym, worked out what my life is and sorted out a routine.
I’m thinking of starting a personal insta…I’m not sure if people will be interested in that, but if you will let me know!!
My life will probably be on there, including outfits and work that I’m doing.
Living, eating, breathing fashion from now on, probably until I die. Oh lord!
What did a days worth of food look like when you were wrapped up in your eating disorder?

Why do people ask questions like these. Why is anyone interested? I don’t believe anyone is genuinely just curious about this, I believe there is some bad intention behind the question.

I rarely share specific information on anything to do with my diet ever. Not because it’s some amazing secret, but because people need to eat their own thing, not what I’m shovelling down my gob!