Trigger Happy. Recovering Rover.My name is Nica and I'm an emotion extremist. English

Could be bothered to lift today, purely because my legs are so heavy and I was tired from a 9 hour day at work.
So I decided I’ll so my cardio day today.
Stairmaster for 30 minutes and then stationary bike for 30 minutes.
Tomorrow I plan to train biceps and back after a hefty breakfast. Fueling my booty growth 1 pancake at a time!!

#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #prorecovery #selfrecovery #recovery #workout #gym #fitness #weightlifting #weighttraining #strengthtraining #cardioday #bootygains #weightrestoration
Dinner time.
Pollock baked in sesame oil, ginger and dried garlic with roasted veggies in extra virgin olive oil and curry powder.

I use a lot of oil on my food, a lot of extra virgin olive oil that is. Whilst it adds calories, it’s good for you in moderation. I roast my veggies in a table spoon and I use a tsp in my couscous which I’m currently having every day for lunch just because it’s quick and convenient. 

It’s something I was terrified of when I was suffering badly from my anorexia, I would refuse food that had it in, I would freak out if I found my sister sneaking it into her cooking and I was convinced it would make me fat and obese.

Irrational fears like these ruined my life, and holding onto these fears will continue to ruin my life. Slowly but surely I am getting out of old habits and beating irrational fears over certain foods.

Anyway, dinner is yum, my legs are tired and I’m so hungry! I love leg day, I’m waiting for my booty pump to kick in!

#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #recovery #selfrecovery #prorecovery #healthyliving #healthyeating #eatclean #cleaneating #fearfood #weightgain #weightrestoration
Hey can you advise me how to eat and workout I'm trying to gain weight . Love your blog❤️

I can’t really do much at all with such little information, sorry.

Where do you buy your bras and underwear? Xxx

I bought a really nice one from free people recently.
Other than that ck, topshop, m&s, asos. Anywhere that’s pretty!

Hey, basically I'm struggling with binging for 2 years now. I eat clean I train weights and do cardio. All this seems to be paying off but I'm still not losing as much fat as I would like to due to binging. I don't want to tell anyone about this who I know or the doctors I just want to stop permantley! Any idea how I can stop :( ??

It’s not going to stop just like that, and to think that it will is a little foolish perhaps, especially if you’ve been suffering for 2 years now.
A doctor can refer you to a counsellor or clinic and they can help you with your issues, it’s an emotional issue more often then not with binge eating, repressing your feeling and emotions is playing out in a negative way.
I’ve only ever suffer from binging due to starvation and that’s a completely different thing, so I’m sorry that I cannot relate it offer more advice, prehaps looking for someone who suffers from the same would help you?

These little leggies leg pressed 180kg today, this time last year I was struggling with 60kg.

Proud moment!
Leg session was killer! Now my lunch is cooking and I’m feeling like a badass bitch!

#workout #gym #fitness #musclegain #strengthtraining #weighttraining #weightlifting#anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #recovery #selfrecovery #prorecovery #healthyliving
Have some oblique action.
Protein pancake in the making, having Nutella on that shit because I freaking can.
Going to work legs and booty at the gym today, monster session needed, so monster session will be had.
#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #recovery #selfrecovery #prorecovery #morningshape #strongcore #abs #workout #gym #fitness #weightrestoration #weightgain
Morning shape.
Went to the gym last night. Did 25 minutes of sprints and power walking then trained chest for a further 25 minutes.
The workout was short but my energy was lacking. Food was eaten well yesterday, I fed myself properly which felt good but also left me in a terribly negative mood in the evening.
I’ve just eaten a double chocolate cookie, the big kind that are almost 400 calories and I feel pretty good about that do far!
Tonight I’m going to do some booty work at home, my gym is closed so I will be improvising!
Hope everyone is having a lovely Saturday!!
#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #recovery #prorecovery #selfrecovery #weightgain #weightrestoration #gym #workout #fitness #healthyliving #morningshape
Gym for the first time this week.
It’s Friday.
Lazy bitch.
Can’t even be bothered with this.
Bad place mentally but Atleast my body profile is looking decent.

I’ll just clean the house, drink coffee, contemplate the gym and not speak to anyone today I think!

#edrecovery #anorexiarecocery #weightrestored #bodydysmorphia
Dinnahhhhh!
Had a bad day, we all have bad days. The fact I’ve just got out of bed and made food means I’m fighting back against the devil on my back.

Baked pollock with curry powder and lime. Wild rice with spices, coconut and raisins.
It was good!

#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #prorecovery #selfrecovery #recovery #edsoldier #healthyliving #healthyeating #eatclean #cleaneating
Once upon a time I was in the sane place as a lot of you following me.
I was terrified of recovery, terrified of getting fat and no longer being the skinny girl who got comments about her weight by the hour. Terrified of prople looking at me and being repulsed and terrified of loosing the bond I felt I had with my eating disorder.

Turns out I should of been terrified of the fact I was so in love with my eating disorder, and coming to the realisation that it will actually kill me and that it was running my life was the best moment of my life yet.

Recovery gives you a story to tell others about how courageous and strong you are as a human bring, a eating disorder gives you the exact opposite story to tell.

My willpower wasn’t strong then, it was weak, I have Into the eating disorder at every opportunity. My willpower is strong now. I can eat food without letting myself create a manifestation of guilt and torture, despite my eating disorder wanting to constantly.

I live with anorexia every day of my life still, the difference now is that I don’t and I won’t let it win.

Yeah it’s your second #transformationtuesday and it’s on a Wednesday! Get over it!

#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #bulimia #ednos #recovery #prorecovery #selfrecovery #edsoldier #weightrestored #weightrestoration #weightgain #workout #gym #fitness #healthyliving #healthyeating #bodydysmorphia
January 18th vs. August 25th.
7 month difference. Slow progress is better than no progress and that’s what you need to remember.
What’s changed since then? Not much if in honest, I’m just holding on to more body weight in the form of body fat and muscle and I’m 7 months further into my recovery journey.

We are made stronger by the struggles we face and the struggles we beat. I’ve had a relapse inbetween these two photos and pulled it out the back, 
My remakes was actually suffered the week after the first photo.
I’m only about 4lbs heavier between pictures but I think I’m showing a lot of difference.

Recovery is so fucking worth it, even if it is fucking hard!

#transformationtuesday #transformation #weightgain #weightrestored #weightrestoration #healthyliving #healthyeating #workout #gym #fitness #strongcore #selfrecovery #abs #6pack #bodydysmorphia #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #edsoldier #eatclean #cleaneating #eatingdisorder #anorexia #bulimia #ednos
Have my dinner from the other night.
Tuna fish pie with some veggies.
It took me 2 hours to eat. Upping your intake by 700 instantly is bloody tough on your stomach! But oh well, mustn’t be compiling now!
#edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #prorecovery #selfrecovery #recovery #edsoldier #dinner #intake #nutrition #healthyliving #healthyeating #eatclean #cleaneating
Tbh I'm super excited for Tuesday now!

I would like to say I’m equally excited but I would like to hang my body on a peg at the moment and conveniently leave it behind.